Georgiaversary

One year ago today, we moved our family to Georgia. I never anticipated how profound an effect this would have on us. Moving meant being 7 months pregnant in the dead heat of a southern summer, an eager little girl ready for adventure as a preschooler, an anxious husband starting a new job 3 hours away from his family, the burden of a house that had not sold, and a crappy ground floor apartment that cost more than our house. While I did not know it at the time, this move would have one of the most significant impacts on my life.

Approximately two weeks before my daughter and I were supposed to meet my husband in Atlanta, he called to tell us that he had been assigned to a job in Augusta, “stinky ‘gusta” as it became referred to by our daughter, about 3 hours away from Atlanta. As the reality of what this meant set in, I cried, often. Maybe it was the hormones or maybe it was the first time in my new marriage where I was realizing just how much I had come to rely on my groom. Our first year of marriage had not been the easiest. We never really had the “honeymoon” phase because we began our life together as a family of three, not two. So, for quite possibly the first time, I realized how much I had transitioned out of my independent woman (holla at Beyoncé) mindset and into the mindset of a Christian wife. This was a harsh realization for me and one I was not fully equipped to cope.

You see, from the time I moved to Kentucky in 2009, I wanted to go back home to Georgia. This intensified after my daughter was born so when we got the news that there was a company in Atlanta that wanted to bring my dear husband on board to start up their new office, we were ecstatic. I felt like it was an answered prayer six years in the making. God was delivering me home just as he did the Israelite's. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. We settled into our new surroundings painfully slow. The Lord taught us a lesson on humility, something we did not enjoy. The dumpy 1200 square foot apartment, that cost $200 more per month than our 2600 square foot house, came with dust painted into the trim, a smoke detector that went off every time we had the stove and oven on simultaneously, heinous bugs with more legs than a millipede, and a team of linebackers living above us (not really but man, they were LOUD). OUR plan had been to live there temporarily until our house sold. I always felt uneasy about this plan of OURS. I knew deep down that something was amiss. Even when the interview process was over and the final papers were signed, I didn’t feel like this was the end. It felt too good to be true and in my experience, if it feels too good to be true, it typically is.

Over the next few months, my husband continued his work in stinky ‘gusta. I was placed on bed rest. Our son was born a few weeks early requiring a NICU stay. I was hospitalized for a severe infection. It goes without saying, our life was chaotic. Those weeks were tough. The days were long and the nights longer. A lot of tears were shed. A lot of arguments had. A lot of hormonal mood swings. Most of which centered around our daughter not being with us on Christmas for the very first time. During that time, we had to travel back to Kentucky to drop her off so we made a stop at our old house (which STILL had not sold) to walk around. This was the pivotal moment in our year long journey.

My husband and I had not previously discussed it, but we both felt like we had made a mistake moving to Georgia. As the sayings go, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and you never know what you have till it’s gone. Crisscrossing the south east in the car left us with ample time to talk. I procrastinated telling my husband how I felt about our situation because, bless his heart, all he ever wanted was to make me happy. I didn’t want to upset him or make him feel defeated but my gut told me to tell him what was on my mind. Thank heavens I did because he felt the same way.

This is when my prayer journey started.

See, when we first found out about this job in Atlanta, my husband and I both forgot about one important factor: was this what God wanted for us? Neither of us spent time praying about it. We didn’t even really discuss the different possible scenarios with each other. We were both blinded by big dollar signs, bonus packages, and a fresh start in a Southern city. We were hasty, immature, and gluttonous. Those big dollar signs didn’t mean much when you were paying for two homes and a fresh start didn’t mean much when your family was split apart. This job, this move, this fresh start was not a blessing. It was not from God.

I’ve always thought of myself as a faithful Christian. I rarely doubted God. I served in church, surround myself with Godly friends, made valiant efforts to read my Bible daily. But this, this was different. After all, I had been SO SURE that God had already answered my prayer when we moved to Georgia. Was I really going to question Him? I dare not do that so I began to pray for God’s will. I didn’t know where He wanted us. I knew what I wanted. I knew where I wanted to be but what I wanted more was what God wanted. Faith triumphs in trouble, or so my Bible tells me. Romans 5:3-5 says "And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us".

I clung to this verse those 12 months. I prayed for the perseverance, character, and hope. I prayed for God's will to be revealed. I prayed for the patience to wait for it, the eyes and ears to receive it, and the courage to accept it. I prayed for our hearts to be renewed, our attitudes to be adjusted, or faith to be strengthened. I prayed for my marriage to stay strong, for my husband to be strong, for me to be strong alone with our kids.

I. PRAYED. AND PRAYED. AND PRAYED.

A little time went by and we realized God was calling us home. He was showing us his will and it was not in Georgia. As much of a burden as our house had been, God used that for His glory because he gave us a HOME to come back to. As crappy as that apartment was, God used that for His glory because he gave us an appreciation for our blessings. My husband made arrangements to return to work at his former employer in the Spring. We rented a moving truck and said our goodbyes. By the end of January, we were HOME!

Unfortunately, the roses didn’t bloom just quite yet. That position fell through.

We didn’t panic initially because my husband had several contacts and he immediately started making calls. He interviewed here, he interviewed there, he interviewed everywhere. Everything was falling through at the last minute. It was now May and we had no prospect of a job. Where was God? What was He trying to teach us? WHY was he putting us through this? I could fill a sea with all the tears I cried on top of my sweet baby’s head at night. I could fill a book with the number of times my daughter asked “when is Daddy coming home”. We would say our prayers at night and she always said “please let Daddy get a job so he doesn’t have to go to stinky ‘gusta anymore”. Watching our daughter cry on Sundays after church when Daddy left was heartbreaking. Watching our infant son cry when Daddy held him because he was a stranger was heartbreaking.

But I prayed.

I would rock our son to sleep and just pray and beg God to FIX IT. Just fix it God, like He is the ultimate repairman in Heaven. I would sing hymns to lull him to sleep but also to praise Jesus. Our son was not, is not, an easy baby to put to bed so I spent a lot of time in that glider praying. As we can all say, looking back now I can see how God used our tribulation for glory. One day in particular, I remember having 10 minutes to myself to take a shower. I remember just crying, sobbing, begging God to provide for our family. Bring my husband home. Bring the kids’ daddy home. And in that moment my faith was forever changed. Sitting on my shower floor, I heard God speak to me. He said “Anna, why do you doubt me? Trust me.”. Maybe I was delusional from all the crying but I heard it clear as the water beating down on me. It stopped me in my tracks and I instantly felt a peace wash over me. The Holy Spirit was alive inside me and I had nothing to be afraid of!

A few more interviews came and went with nothing to promise but I did not fret. My hope was in Jesus and nothing more. I knew he was going to provide and I needed to be patient (ha!). My prayers turned from “fix it, Lord” to “thank you Lord, you are good and I trust you”. My worship had renewed praise. Finding peace, especially for someone who is naturally anxious, is indescribable. To feel complete calm even when everything around me feels out of control is miraculous. That is a feeling on the Holy Spirit can provide but we must seek it. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.: (Matthew 7:7-8) This verse is often used to promote prosperity, wealth, happiness, and all those things can be a blessing but God ultimately wants us to ask, seek, and knock for Him. He will NEVER deny you of Him and this verse is proof of His promise.

When we found out about the job my husband would ultimately get, I knew God was telling me this was “the one”. I knew he was keeping His promise and providing for our family. I also knew that my gratitude and praise couldn’t stop there. It was only the beginning. The day the job was offered, he was so excited he texted me immediately, he just couldn’t wait. I was so thankful he did that though because I bawled like a baby. I thanked Jesus over and over. I hugged my babies and just praised Him. He delivered us. When he got home, we called our daughter over and told her we had something to tell her. By this time, she was well aware of everything that was going on and asked if it was time for daddy to go back to stinky ‘gusta. He smiled and said no, I got the job. The look on her face was priceless. She hugged his neck so tight and whispered “mommy and I have been praying for you so much daddy” and it was in that moment I knew what it was all about. Our precious little girl who we try so hard to teach and show God’s love to, saw her prayers answered. It was the first time she got to experience God’s grace. I was in awe and quite frankly still am as I sit here reflecting on that moment from 2 months ago. God moments.

So here we are, on our Georgiaversary (I’m coining that). My life is not without trial, it is not without pain, it is not without struggle, but I have peace like a river. I have a faith in God that cannot be shaken. I have a love for the Lord that cannot be broken. I have a deep desire to share God’s love with the world because He has been so good to me.

I prayed for you before you read this that you might find a way to experience Jesus. I pray that God uses me to teach others the things He has taught me. I pray that you experience peace only the Holy Spirit can bring. I pray that you too have God moments.

#moving #prayer #faith #family #marriage #parenting #God