Dear Negative Nelly

​"If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all". I still hear my mother's voice saying this to me over and over and over again. Like many strong-willed, type A, independent children, my mouth didn't come equipped with a filter. The words flew off my tongue like hot grease jumpin' out of a skillet frying bacon. Frankly, they still do sometimes, but I'll get to that in a minute.

The words seem simple. The concept, on the contrary, causes angst and struggle for countless people. I came to the conclusion that there is an entire segment of our population dedicated to practicing the opposite of this phrase. These people are negative people. Negative Nellies as I like to nickname them.

Everyone knows a Negative Nelly. If you don't, then you probably are one. Generally unhappy people whose panties are stuck in a perpetual wad. Negative Nellies get offended easily, don't offer sound advice, and don't own a pair of rose colored glasses.

When you're in any kind of leadership role, Negative Nellies come out of the woodwork. They criticize every minute detail, offer unsolicited advice, and rarely praise the hard work of others. Negative Nellies like to complain whenever the opportunity arises. If you have a problem, don't ask a Negative Nellie for advice because you'll leave with exacerbated feelings of frustration. And yes, while Negative Nellies are annoying, put us in bad moods, or hurt our feelings without even realizing, they can help us grow closer to Jesus.

Say whatttttt?!?

It's true.

See, I've recently been put in a position where I am consistently around these types of people. As someone who tries to stay bubbly and be a source of encouragement to others, I struggled to find ways to handle myself in these situations. Thankfully, the Bible provides us with much wisdom on this very topic! (you knew this is where I was headed)

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29

Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

Proverbs 4:24

Whoever loves a pure heart and gracious speech will have the king as a friend. Proverbs 22:11

For, whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.

1 Peter 3:10

Therefore encourage one another with these words.

1 Thessalonians 4:18

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 16:24

I could keep the list going but I think I've made my point. God tells us repeatedly that our WORDS have immense power in our life. We may speak truth and life to others or we may speak perversity and corruptness. The Bible also tells us that the WORDS we say directly correlate with our THOUGHTS which derive from our HEARTS (see Mark 7:21, Philippians 2:14, Romans 12:2, Philippians 4:8). If our hearts ain't right, our words ain't right either. Pretty simple.

Now, remember at the beginning of this post I basically equated myself to bacon grease? No, that wasn't a fat girl joke. As hard as I try to be a "good" Christian, to walk the straight path, to lift others up, cast my worries to God, sometimes I still forget how much power my words carry. Whether it be with my husband, children, friends, or the clerk at Kroger, I admittedly fail far more often than I'd like to admit. And I'm not even a Negative Nellie! How's that for a curveball?

There is a key difference: I AM AWARE AND I ASK GOD'S FORGIVENESS. I pray about my words. I try my darndest to keep my heart pure so my thoughts will be also. I lament to God when I know I'm wrong. Have you ever noticed how just about everything in the Christian faith can be traced back to prayer? There's a reason for that. IT WORKS.

Remember when I said negative people can bring YOU closer to Jesus and you thought "she's lost her marbles", I'm going to show you how.

Recently, a good friend of mine sent me a very snarky text message. It hurt my feelings but I knew she didn't mean what she said. It is often said that we lash out at those we are closest to and it's true. While part of me wanted to call my friend out for what she said, the other part of me wanted to pray for her. So I did just that. And ya know what? It made ME feel better. I didn't get a chance to talk to her again for a couple of days but I hope she felt coveted by God's love in that moment. This little moment brought BOTH of us to God: she was prayed over and I clung to Jesus in a moment of heartache.

See, I'm not so crazy after all.

Jesus isn't there for just the big stuff. He is there for every silly little detail. All we have to do is invite him in.

So if you think you might possess Negative Nelly tendencies, this is my message to you: be conscious of the words you speak and tone in which they are spoken. Think about what you want to say before you get diarrhea of the mouth. Pray for God to reveal your verbal weaknesses and help you overcome them. Repent to God. I promise these small changes will make ALL the difference in your attitude, your life, and your relationship with God, which is the ultimate reward!

Blessings and brownies,

Anna

P.S.,

If you need a little help while you go through the process, read Keep It Shut by Karen Ehman. It is raw, funny, and 100% relatable.

#God #faith #negativepeople #badattitudes